Cheap Stuff To Do When You’re Blue

by Liz von Achen

Everybody gets the blues now and then. Here are some simple blues-busting techniques I’d like to share. If anyone can add to this list, please send an e-mail. The only criteria is that it has to be a cheap solution – no ‘hop on a jet and grab a shrimp salad sandwich in Tahiti’ techniques allowed (unless it’s your jet, and the rest of us are all invited).

• Reach into the refrigerator with your eyes closed and grab four items at random. Invite a few close friends over and prepare a meal using only these four items. (Then call Papa John’s and order a large pie with extra cheese).

• Sing-a-long to Helen Reddy’s “That Ain’t No Way To Treat A Lady,” and really FEEL it.

• Place your index finger on a spinning globe, where it lands is where you’ll spend your next vacation. Good Luck. (My next vacation’s supposed to be in Chad. Fortunately, I’m a poor slob who never gets to take vacations.)

• Go to the grocery store and buy a box of Fruit Loops cereal. Go home, pour yourself a bowl and eat with lots of milk. Believe me, regardless of your age, it’s almost impossible to stay blue when you’re eatting Fruit Loops, especially if you find a ‘Free Inside’ toy in the box.

• Get in your car, close up all the windows, drive down a busy highway and SCREAM like a banshee. (If you don’t have a car, try while riding your bike. If you don’t have a bike, you could try it on a bus, but, they might send you away to someplace unpleasant, I don’t know.)

• Look up the literal meaning of the word ‘Banshee’ and realize that most people have no friggin’ idea of what a banshee really sounds like.

• Dance with your dog to Van Morrison’s “Bright Side Of The Road.” If you don’t have a dog, borrow one from the neighbors. (This really does work!)

• Put your card in the ATM machine and choose the Spanish language option. (If you happen to be bilingual, try completing your entire transaction with your eyes closed.)

• Leave your checkbook, your credit cards, and all your cash at home and go shopping for clothes at the mall. Try on the most hideous outfit you can find. When you decide that you look great in it, and you must have it, place it on a 24-hr hold. Go home, wait 25 hours, and then give yourself a big pat on the back.

© 2009 Liz von achen All rights reserved.


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